Translation of scribbled note found on a fridge in the Kremlin earlier this year:
My 5 point plan for the making of Russia great again by Vlad Putin aged 64 1/2
- Find a populist, despotic candidate for US presidential elections. One who can be easily manipulated through ego, greed, vanity or ideally all three. Must already have celebrity profile and Twitter account.
- Actively discredit all viable and traditional political opposition through smear campaigns and disinformation. Ideally discredit entire political class and set up an ‘us and them’ platform for them to run upon. Set candidate up as a savior outsider.
- Encourage candidate to be as divisive and populist as possible, ideally split country into two opposing groups of unreconcilable differences. Policy statements must be simplistic, contrary and deeply nationalistic. Reduce the debate to 140 characters or less.
- Ensure success of candidate by manipulating electoral polls and voting. Candidate must win and it must be close, helping to seed suspicion and undermine their democratic system. Help candidate to build team of ‘trusted’ advisers and political outsiders, hell bent on fundamental change of established US institutions.
- Sit back and watch US turn in upon itself, creating social unrest and alienating rest of diplomatic community. Stay aloof and indifferent during their collapse and build strong relationships with emerging powers. Drink vodka, laugh heartily and be embraced by the Russian people - Russia is great again!
*This is an 'alternative facts' production, any fridges or reputations resembling those living or dead are purely accidental.